When I think about the word "relay" I think about cheering on others as it takes a team to run a relay race, everyone has to do their part. Pre-October 2013 when I thought about Relay For Life I looked at it as the one "racing" is the one with Cancer and the "cheering team mates" are those supporting them, making sure THEY could fight "THEIR" battle. But now since joining (the Team no one wants to be part of) "Team Cancer" I have learned that relay is like the two change roles, Cheering team are now the ones running the race and the one with cancer is cheering on their friends & family.
I know personally the 2nd lap of Relay of Life where Chris, Aiden, & my Mom joined me at the Relays I was part of last year was way more more meaning then the first lap were it's just for survivors.
This year I will be leading a team with my friend & Co-Survivor Robyn at Relay for Life of Greater Minneapolis in less then 2 weeks. Our team is called Wonder Twins :) as we are both proud to say we are Hodgkin Lymphoma Survivors. Everyone is welcome to join our little team. True I should have posted this a few weeks ago in hopes of higher team count & money donation but I am so bad at asking people to give up of their money & time for me.
So now I come to you in hopes that Team Wonder Twins can rise from the ground up and help in the fight Cancer, Lets FIND a END!!!!
If you would like to help please click on the link below and I mean it when I say all are welcome to join our team (even if it's only for part of the night).
STRONG, such a small word for something with such a big meaning. It can mean from being able to lift heavy things to simply being able to smile when your world is falling apart. Last night around 9:45pm as I was about to make a get away to Target (yes the "evil" bulls-eye store, it's so peaceful there at night) ... anyway back to last night. So as I was just thinking about walking out the door Guess who thought it would be a good idea to come to Mommy & Daddy's bed ... YEP Sir little pants :) So he climbed into bed (were I had been planning out my trip in my head & watching TV) gives me the BIGGEST bear hug ever & falls asleep on the right of me, making me pickle in the middle as Chris was on the left, this was also a sign that I would not be going to Target as I had planned. True I could have carried him back to his bed like I had done so many times before, but I don't know what it is with that kid (or really any kid I know) once asleep they gain a good 5 lbs per years they have been on this plant, Plus every time I tired to move him he would make the funniest face & sound. SO I just let him be & snuggled in my new found spot on the bed. I quickly fell asleep until 2:22pm.. I don't know what happened at that time but I woke up and started thinking about the happens over the past 2 years. The Loss of may things but one thing that hit me hardest last night was the loss of my dear Aunt. How she loved the song "On Eagle's wings", the line "He will lift you up on Eagle's wings" just means so much & reminds me how much God loves us and how much he picks/holds us up. So well thinking of her this came into my heart
I was never asked if I wanted to be strong, I just known I had to be.
This simple line means so much, I mean is anyone ever asked if the want to be strong, or how strong do you want to be? ... we just know we have to be. I know that not only did I have 1 Amazing God holding me up but I also had 1 crazy little boy, a caring husband, family & friends helping me to stay strong. But I also known I had to stay strong for them so it was a loop of support.
So as I want thought my day today thinking about that line, my Aunt, & everyone in my life I am still in amazed at what has happened.
I pray that everyone can find their own "Support Loop"
I leave you with a song from VBS a few years back that Aiden still loves & I feel fits well in here
Is it to odd to feel guilty that I am well & others are
not? I know I have talked about survivor guilt before and how that is all
normal but for some reason just a few moments ago well I was washing my hands I
had an overwhelming feeling that I should not be here, I should be ill in a bed
or sitting in the chair on the 3rd floor of the U of M. Intend I was at my work washing my hand just
working & living as nothing happened to me. I am even getting emotional
sitting at my desk typing this hoping no one walks over & sees me. It’s
been over a year since Treatment has finished & my health has been ok (not
super great but better). I am just lost in a fog I don’t know how I will get
thought the next few hours. If I could I would love to leave work right now.
Then I would go to Aiden & Chris just so I could hold them and maybe that
would remind me that everything OK.
God dose work in Crazy ways. So as I am writing this my
phone keeps going off saying I have a new Text message. I was kind of ignoring it
at first but then when I looked at it I was SHOCKED at what I saw J I had 4 Text saying
some one was praying for me. I know I am never fighting alone or Standing alone
God has put in army of angels to fight for me and to Stand with me when things
get hard.
Lord I pray this simple message will help someone today. To
the person who feels alone, Please know you are NEVER alone please know that
God is always here & so am I if you need someone to talk with.
