Friday, June 19, 2015

The feeling of Guilt

Is it to odd to feel guilty that I am well & others are not? I know I have talked about survivor guilt before and how that is all normal but for some reason just a few moments ago well I was washing my hands I had an overwhelming feeling that I should not be here, I should be ill in a bed or sitting in the chair on the 3rd floor of the U of M.  Intend I was at my work washing my hand just working & living as nothing happened to me. I am even getting emotional sitting at my desk typing this hoping no one walks over & sees me. It’s been over a year since Treatment has finished & my health has been ok (not super great but better). I am just lost in a fog I don’t know how I will get thought the next few hours. If I could I would love to leave work right now. Then I would go to Aiden & Chris just so I could hold them and maybe that would remind me that everything OK.

God dose work in Crazy ways. So as I am writing this my phone keeps going off saying I have a new Text message. I was kind of ignoring it at first but then when I looked at it I was SHOCKED at what I saw J I had 4 Text saying some one was praying for me. I know I am never fighting alone or Standing alone God has put in army of angels to fight for me and to Stand with me when things get hard.


Lord I pray this simple message will help someone today. To the person who feels alone, Please know you are NEVER alone please know that God is always here & so am I if you need someone to talk with. 

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