so ya I know we have missed a few ... sorry blame Chemo Brain :)

First I want to say how thankful I am for all the LOVE & support we have been given over the past 6 months & I am so happy to say I am almost done :) after next Friday (May 16th) I will say I am done.

I have learned so much from my time with cancer. To some they might have found it as a curse but I almost found it as a very odd blessing. God didn't give me cancer but he sure has shown me how I can take this bad thing & turn it to good for him. I pray that we can find a end to cancer soon (like last year) but I know all good things take time & thankfully I feel we are close real close. I also know that there are many great doctors & nurses fighting hard to find a end. If it was not for my Dr. fighting hard for me my treatment would had been a lot longer, some of my blood counts were low ... aka really really low more then once, one of my infusion nurses even wondered if I was not part of the study if they would have given me the drugs so many times with low counts.  I know God is healing my body and allowing the meds to what they need to do.

I know I should write more but really it's late & other then then "The End is Near" I can't think of what to say ... so I guess I should leave you with some cute photos of ... me :)

This one is titled (thanks to my sweet Mom) "You look like a alien"

Next is a photo from Easter ... yes I did wear the ears for Sunday school 

Here you see my sweet Aiden at our Birthday dinner at Applebee's 

This is Robyn (my Cancer Buddy) & I, after months of talking via Facebook & text we finally able to meet each other in person. I am so blessed to have met her, I will have to make a post about how sweet & great she is but for now I will just say... Robyn You Rock!!!

and for the last photo ... is just a reminder 

Sometimes you have no option but take life's little Detours 

Chemo #6 and the passing of my mother

Friday February 7th marked the halfway point of the chemo treatment and this was one of the shortest trips we had to the Masonic Cancer Center. The blood tests were taken and we got them back quickly (usually something breaks down, or they're busy, etc.) and what they showed was great. Patti's numbers were pretty much all up, her #'s relating to her liver were a tad low which our RN Natalie said warranted keeping an eye on but everything else looked good. The past two treatments we had to have neupogen shots because her neutrophil counts were low or dangerously low but rather being at <1.0, they were at 3.1 which is pretty high considering.

One last thing Natalie wanted to have Patti watch was her weight. She lost 7 lbs which is good for a normal healthy person exercising, eating right and trying to get healthy. It isn't healthy for someone going through chemo. They want patients to keep their weight steady, not only because it marks a healthy and full diet but it also dictates the volume of each drug they give you. Patti has lost somewhere around 40 lbs which the nurses and doctors sort of say good job and sort of scold her for. They kept the amount per drug the same for this visit but they might adjust for the next treatment.

There was a bit of scare from the Infusion level while we were waiting downstairs to be called up. Our nurse Pat's (who would be providing Patti's treatment today) had his first patient suffer a severe allergic reaction. What we heard in the waiting room downstairs was "Code Blue, Infusion Level Pod D" about half a dozen times until they started repeating the message with "Cancel" added to it. It took a chapter or two of reading on my nook before I looked at the clock realized we had been waiting to be called up to the infusion level well after when we should have. I'm not saying this because I was impatient, but because if you have dealt with how efficient they run this cancer center, then you know how unusual it is to wait after your appointment time even with all the other patients there as well.

Guess what? We eventually got called up to Pod D where we wondered if we got the code blue chair from earlier. Nurse Pat couldn't start our chemo treatment so another nurse, Ann, administered the pre-chemo drugs (saline, steroids, etc.). Pat, unfortunately for him, had to fill out paperwork about his patient who suffered the allergic reaction. He told us how much he loved (sarcasm) all the paperwork involved with his job but, he says, it's a necessary evil. While Ann started us off, she informed us that the wait we went through downstairs was due to their software platform 'Epic' crashed on all their computers which sent them back to the stone age with the infusion process (or as we call it: the '80s).

The rest of the time went as usual, Patti got her drugs: Adriamycin, Bleomycin, Vinblastine, and Dacarbazine (ABVD). Her father, Don, stopped by to see how his daughter was doing. Patti really appreciates that he takes time out of his busy to stop by for a little while to chat almost every time. Don left a little bit before we finished and with our full calendar of chemo treatments, we left. After chemo, Patti and I went home for a bit before I went to the nursing home to see my mom and she ran a few errands before joining me. A few hours later Patti left and came back with Aiden who didn't seemed as nervous being in the room like he was the first time. He did have a scare there, though, when the nurse came in to do a regular check up and was swabbing out my mom's mouth and my mother started choking on the gunk in her throat. Aiden ran to the corner and wrapped a curtain around himself and started whimpering; poor guy. The real fun of the night was promising Aiden Pizza Luce, but going at 7 pm on Friday night meant there was absolutely no parking spots. Lucky for me, we had separate vehicles so I didn't hear Aiden's melt down when he realized we weren't going in. He did calm down when we got to Ruby Tuesday's and had a very delicious dinner.

This is a relatively long post so before we get into the heavy and sad stuff, why
don't you get up and stretch your legs and get a snack!

Saturday was my friend Dustin's bachelor party. It was a very fun night until around 1 am while we were sitting at a bar downtown I got a phone call. I immediately knew who was calling and walked quickly to a 'quiet' area. The nurse, who actually sounded like she was crying, told me my mother had just passed away.

Now to the outward observer, a guy on his phone or shortly thereafter, hands on knees looking down might look kind of funny outside the restroom doors; I knew her death was imminent but the news still hit me like a ton of bricks and for me it was anything but humorous. I didn't cry...A few tears through the next few hours did spring, especially during a situation on the party bus later, but other than that nothing. I realize now that I had made peace with my mother throughout the last week and while I am sad and grieving and miss her a lot and have been replaying memories in my mind over and over, I am over the sobbing and gushing that I had when I first said my goodbyes to her.

I want to say thank you to Brandon, Geoff and Sebastian. I was out of it when I walked back to the table and when I told them, they gave me an awkward (for me haha) but very nice large group hug. I am a hugger during good times, anyone will tell you that, but I don't like showing weakness or emotion other than a bad sense of humor during bad times. I hate showing any emotion to others, and don't expect a huge speech at my mom's memorial because you'd start crying, then I'd start crying and I don't want to pay for the flood damage. But anyways, the hug and their general concern meant the world to me and I just want to say thank you to those guys, they're awesome. I'm not saying the rest of the guys who were at the party aren't awesome, they just weren't there at the time and didn't know the situation.

We got back on the bus and we headed home and I kind of stayed toward the back because one: I was no longer in a partying mood; and two: I didn't want to bring everyone else down. Unfortunately for two people I sort of made them sad later. For the life of me I am horrible with names, (I always have to ask Patti for nurses' names and doctor names to write this blog) so I can't remember this one guy's name from the bachelor party. He noticed I was kind of just staring off into no where and asked what was wrong. I said 'nothing'. Apparently I don't lie well and he said 'Are you doing alright'. So I told him. At first he didn't quite believe me, but after a few minutes he sat down next to me kind of gave me a half hug and kept saying how sorry he was. Quintin, Brandon's brother, also came over and found out the news. So these guys are both comforting me, which sort of made it awkward for me, since I really didn't want to blubber in front of these two and they kept saying to let it out. DANGIT GUYS I don't want to! Thank you guys, you guys really helped and made me smile and feel awkward warm emotions. I did mention I didn't want them to tell Dustin. Sorry Dustin that I didn't tell you in person, but I didn't want to ruin your night.

I don't know what else to say really. My mother was Marilyn Helen Payne (Maiden name Towey). She taught in the Eden Prairie school district for 28 years and left under less than pleasant terms right before she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Through the years following she spiraled downward as the MS advanced. She got fatigued, lost her sense of balance; confined to a chair or wheel chair; forced into the nursing home system right before Christmas one year. Bedridden; blind, and most of the time no reaction to your presence. Patti and I had our legal ceremony at the nursing home so my mom could be involved. We brought our son to meet her when he was a baby but by that time she couldn't see him, I just hope she felt his presence.

This last week we went over there several times, I spent hours in her room playing music for her while I read (seriously, I read like 7 books while I was there). The nursing staff was great and comforting. I learned all about Hospice and about the nature of dying and what signs to look for (that sure was fun). I witnessed my mom stop breathing for a few seconds up to 30 seconds a dozen times before it was explained to me that it was normal during the dying process (I almost had heart attack each time it happened though). Thanks to Hospice and the drugs they gave her, she died peacefully in her room in the middle of the night. Thank you to the staff at the Villa of Saint Louis Park for making her last years, months, days and hours comfortable.

There will be an obituary for her this Wednesday and Sunday (2/12, 2/16 respectively) in the Star Tribune. A Memorial Gathering will be held on March 1st (Saturday) from 2 pm - 4 pm at the Edina Cremation Society Chapel: 7110 France Ave South, Edina MN 55435.

Marilyn Helen Payne

5/12/47 - 2/9/14

66 years old

preceded by James Towey (father), Luverne Towey (mother) and Mike Towey (brother)

survived by Phil (husband), Chris (son), Patti (Daughter in law) and Aiden (grandson)

There are so many things that I could put that she was (mother,daughter,etc) but most of all she was:

LOVED. 

I miss you Mom..

...dangit I'm tearing up again...

“I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.” 

― Mark Twain

Sad? Happy? Guilty much?

I've found out my mother is more than likely going to pass away. It is never a 100% sure thing but we have been told multiple times that it seems to be her time and that she is shutting down.

Patti, Aiden and I went to the nursing home to say goodbye. Aiden even made a wonderful card for her that we placed near her bed. When Patti brought Aiden to her waiting parents in the parking lot I said a long very tearful goodbye to my mom. Even as I write this now my eyes can be seen glittering with water as I think about her. I definitely should have visited more, which could be said of my Great Uncle Leo as well. when he was slowly fading. I wish she could have seen her only grandson be born and grow; to see me graduate college; she missed my sisters' kids growing up and truly meeting Patti's wonderful family. There are so many things that she didn't get to do or see due to Multiple Sclerosis and how it advanced so quickly and now for a second time we are told she won't last long. This time, however, seems to be the real deal and that she could go at any time. 

The next morning, after staying at the nursing home late, I went into work and was immediately told to go home by my fellow manager.What was I to do? I could go back to the nursing home and just stare out the window, check facebook, while I just waited. I could go back home and watch TV. What I could not do was change anything about what will happen to my mom. No one knows when she will die, they only THINK, they are using educated guessing that it will be really soon. I trust the doctors and nurses and the fact they wouldn't do this without being convinced but it's still a situation that I cannot control.

Which brings me to my point which I was stressing over all day yesterday morning and ever since Patti was diagnosed with cancer:

Should I be feeling guilty?

I think any loved one goes through this when a friend or family member goes through something traumatic. Whether a serious injury, disease, or death. How grieved should you look? Should you constantly go around looking morose? Should you have a stiff upper look and a smile on your face? Should you appear dazed and out of it?

I have gone through all of these emotions. I have looked sad, I have looked happy, I have looked tired and stressed out, sometimes everything throughout the day. With each one I think: Do other people think I'm faking? Over doing it? Not showing enough emotion? 

With the cancer and the current chemo treatments I have had a very odd schedule due to helping out Patti through the treatments and following side effects. Now I will probably take time off if and when my mother dies. Another guilty feeling arises when I think about leaving my coworkers short. I know all of them will call me an idiot and tell me I should take time to grieve, etc, etc, etc. That is the kind of wonderful fellow employees and friends that they are. Still nothing overrides the sub-conscious when it's on a guilt trip.

This blog is about Patti and what she is going through. Rightfully so, with the cancer, the treatments, the side effects and her daily life being interrupted, abused and thrown into a loop. But what of the spouses, the friends, and family members that can do nothing for the person who is sick, hurt or even dying. All they can do is say "I love you," give a hug and a kiss and pray that everything will be alright. Their emotions can sometimes be overwhelming, their daily life can be thrown through a loop but they have to swallow it down for the most part and be strong and supportive.

I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve, this is not a slight against people who do, it is just who I am. My emotions are wrapped up in a cocoon of bravado and sarcasm. That being said, I absolutely lost it sitting next to my mother's bed, holding her hand and telling her goodbye. I think I used up almost all the tissue in the room. I did the same thing after we found out that Patti had Stage 3 Hodgkin's Lymphoma, after I was alone of course.  

As I am writing this, I just got a call from the nursing home saying that my mom's time is very near, she didn't take her pills for the first time ever and that they are increasing the pain medication. For the second time in two days I'm losing it and typing this through tears. 

The ending will seem a little broken to this post, I wrote it before I got the call...just go with it...

Another guilty thought. This post is emo, it's full of self pitying statements and you just want to turn off all the lights and listen to this song while reading it. 

I know my nephew Hunter would probably agree: writing is good therapy! It helps to put my thoughts to paper...or blog...dear diary and all that stuff; it unloads weight from shoulders and it can lighten heavy hearts. 

Love you all!

I am very blessed with the family I have

Look at this great site my SIL Anna set up for me.You have until Feb 14 to place your order for a super cute shirt. Trust me this is a must have come spring :) I Once you get the shirt take photo of you in it (feel free to make it a group shot) I want to see all my fans in there Ducky shirts. Truly I LOVE you all & could not have gotten thought this with out God and all of you.

Team Patti's Booster page 

If the link above will not work for you here is the web address 

https://www.booster.com/teampatti?popup=true

Ask Me (Patti) anything replies

From Gretchen M. (any many others)

 How are you feeling?

I have been feeling great. I have been feeling the prayers from everyone and it has been such a great help. I know the Lord has great plans for using this to open doors to others in need. As I look at it, it’s just another “mountain” to overcome (with God’s help) and will add a new chapter to my testimony.

From Tara B.

How are you holding up?  I think I am doing well but I am starting to really miss work. I am sure once all the sicknesses stop flying around like crazy I will be jumping to get back.

What is your take on going through this? I know God has great plans for me. I am already seeing doors that my life can now open. First it was my life as a Sp.Ed kid & now being a Cancer Mommy I am able to relate to people in ways other are not able to.

How is Aiden doing? He knows things are “not right/normal” & we have found that if I don’t take him to school (like normal) he has a really hard time the rest of the day. His teachers have noted that at some times he has focusing problems & they are worried he will not be ready for kindergarten. Luckily we had already talked about holding him back one more year so his teachers were really happy to hear that.  Other than the smallish school setbacks he really loves the extra Cartoon Mommy time. We plan to show him the Chemo area on my last Chemo day, that way he can be part of the party (trust me you will all be invited to stop by) and to help put his mind at ease.

How are you doing with being a wife and mother and going through this? I have my good days & bad days. It’s a good thing I know this will be done soon. Also I think it's going to get harder before it gets easier because of the amount of stuff I have/will have to give up: aka my hair, not being at church & Awana ever week, doing normal cleaning, & cooking, plus normal wife/Mommy things.

 Is there anything you need, would like? A Laptop that does not over heat every 10 mins (then shuts off) & a space bar that works J Ok not really but this post would happen a lot quicker if these two things were not happening. Something that would be really help full is Pre- put together dinners/lunches, so that on the days when I am not feeling super great we can have an easy meal. Aiden’s meals are the easiest to make (he really only likes 5 things) but I find cooking for Chris & I can be the hardest sometimes. Also I think just having great friends like you all to talk to when I am sad/feeling down. Most import is prays you all have said for our family (not just for me but for everyone) This past holiday season was the hardest my whole family has had to live though (Medical “problems” hit almost every generation this year, something would never wish on any family & something pray we never have to deal with again), truly that is the most important thing.

 What has been the hardest thing for you? One of the hardest things for me (that might shock a few of you) is choosing to be positive, and mostly around Aiden.  I have notice that when I am not in such a great mood it seems to go downhill & sadly Aiden is getting the blunt of it. But I have found if I get lots of rest it’s easier to choose to be positive. I guess one of the side effects of the drugs is mood swings, so I guess that would affect that, but if I choose to be happy & positive it’s all good. Also the lack of joy when shopping, it’s really odd not to enjoy shopping (yes this is good for the bank account) but when I need to go get something it’s no fun to force myself to go & get it. I am guessing this is happening because I am afraid to pick a sickness up but other times it’s due to getting tired & over heating so fast that I can’t enjoy myself I have to make sure I get what I need before running out of steam…where is the fun in that?

 What do you wish everyone would know or understand about you, or the what you are going through right now? Oh that’s a good one. Truly I just want to let everyone know I will be fine & this is just a temp thing, should all be said & done before Aiden turns 5. I will be back to my normal self soon. Also don’t feel bad for asking how I am doing I enjoy talking to everyone about what I am going though and talking about myself & My family, really who doesn’t like talking about themselves.

From Rochelle H. 

Have you tried the cookie dough oreos?? No but I plan to once I see them in the store it looks super good, the other new one would be a big NO but the cookie dough looks great.

Is there anything you crave while you are going through chemo? Either liquid or food? Or do you have no appetite? Not really “craving” I mean there are food I could eat more often. BUT on the other hand I am unable to eat food (or else I will get sick or it just taste gross)  I used to love like anything breaded (aka chicken nuggets & things like that), more than 3 French fries (this makes running though that drive thru “super fun” J but this has helped BIG Time with the weight loss)  , Orange juice, most pops  (other than root beer, sprite, & natural black cherry),  a lot of apples or anything with apples in it like Apple juice, applesauce & such.  Ya talk about odd foods to not like anymore.

 Who is your favorite person that lives in Grand Forks, ND? Gee I don’t know I why you would ever ask this one ;)

From Lori H.

You mentioned being tired. What is the cause? The cancer or chemo? Is it something in the chemo? Mostly I was tired due to the lack of sleep the nights before & to pure boredom. You can only watch so much TV before getting sleepy. I normally don’t feel Chemo tired effects until 3 days after chemo.

From Nicole C.

 Does it hurt when they put the needle into the chest port? Can you tell that it is there if you aren't thinking about it? My Port has a Love Hate relationship with the RNs down at the U, truly I feel sorry for them. Since getting my port put in I have lost over 30lbs (yippy) but that means the port has moved & not in a “easy to get to spot” I have told every RN that my post is hard to get to, some head my warning and can get it first try and some don’t. The once that don’t normally have to post me more than once witch can hurt after a little bit but really it’s a lot less painful then when getting a IV. If you ever are in the spot that you can get a port (I pray you never are) get one it makes getting blood work & all that so much easier.  The craziest thing about having a port is when they have to check for a blood return or to flush it with the Saline I can taste it right away and it’s a super gross metal taste, this is where my candy cane pop drops come in great handy. Another thing is sometimes when Aiden forgets he has to be careful around me & he will lean right on the port or on the catheter (that connects the port to my vain, it’s on the side of my neck) & send me screaming (ok not really screaming but yelling to get him off quickly) this is normally followed by him crying & saying how sorry he is and that just makes me feel bad. Aiden recovers quickly with some hugs & guess what else…. Cartoons. When this is all said & done I think Aiden is going to suffer from a lack or cartoons with Mommy, do you think there is a 12 step program to help him with this small addiction?

Please keep the question coming it helps a lot to know what to write in this blog

A Picture is worth a Thousand Words - Chemo #5 1/24/13

A line of pigeons cheered us on as we parked

Moos Health Sciences Tower. I love the look
of this beautiful building

Every time I drive Patti to her treatments I try to park on the top level of the parking ramp. We are a bit more open to the elements, but we usually get to park near the door. This time a ton of pigeons greeted us

Across the street is a unique looking building: Malcolm Moos Health Sciences Tower. To learn a little bit about this building you can go here!

The tunnels we walk through to get to the Masonic Cancer Center

There is a lot of tunnels...

A map of the tunnel system

Okay, where do we go now???

The underground cafeteria

This way for the foods

Masonic Cancer Center waiting room, I think I was spotted...

Underneath all the clinics and hospitals there is a labyrinth of tunnels. They are a lifesaver when it's -40 outside!

If you are too weak to walk these tunnels, they have a transport service where you can ride a golf cart to your destination or at least pretty close to it.

Since it is like a maze there are maps at every intersection to help people who have been stuck down there for days.

Even with them doing everything short of holding your hand and walking you to where you want to go, Patti and I still went to the wrong building our first time using the tunnels.

In previous posts I said we went to an underground 'cafe' to eat. It is also considered an alternative study area for students.

It's not unlike your basic high school or college cafeteria. It's not the best food, but they have a good selection and it's a nice place to rest and people watch.

The first floor of the Masonic Cancer Center is where we check in every time. This is where Patti gets her blood tests done and any non-chemo day check ups.

The long walk...The Infusion area is made up of Pods A-E. Each Pod has
has several areas to give chemo, do blood infusions, etc. There are 30 total
rooms which are usually full every day.

The Third floor hosts the 'Infusion' area. This is where Patti gets her fun drugs that make her healthy. It's a very long hallway with alcoves on either side. Each alcove houses curtained off 'rooms' where people go through chemo, blood infusions and more. There are free snacks and drinks for patients and their friends and family along with separate bathrooms for patients and non-patients.

There is usually a chair for patients in the room while a few have beds.
Along with the patient's chair there is also a less comfy chair for guests.
The patient has a movable TV that gets a few channels and also
has a DVD player.

Apparently, says Patti, there are different chairs throughout the Pods and this one wasn't as comfy. The chair is also hard to lean back, which we had to do to get her port accessed. 

Yes, I am so happy to be here!

That is the view of the parking garage in which we parked. I took the
picture of the Cancer Center from the top floor of the ramp.

My chair is on the right, we have a window view of the dorm across the street, and a very thin curtain that doesn't block any sound from our neighbors.

That is the parking garage on the corner of  SE Harvard Street and Delaware SE Street. Behind it is TCF Stadium.

Patti watching TV while getting the good drugs

TV is the entertainment of the day. Sometimes we'll have redbox movies, other times she'll be using her nook. It takes about 2-3 hours to administer the pre-chemo drugs and then the chemo ones. 

Did you know Chemo patients get tired? Patti was vewy vewy sweepy
so she needed a nap!

There's only so much boring TV you can watch. Sometimes chemo sessions are a good time to take a nap!

Patti's dancing partner

My guilty pleasure. I love the foam hand sanitizer...

Her dancing partner is on the left, her IV tower follows her to the bathroom, to the snack area and back again.

For me, though, there's nothing better than a cleansing foam spray from the disinfectant bottle, I'm sorry, I'm hooked!

Patti's 5th Chemo went very quickly. Her Neutrophil levels are still really low so we was given more Neupogen shots to bounce those levels back up. The next week she'll have to again stay from public spaces if she can help it or wear a mask so she can avoid germs. I hope you enjoyed this view into our Chemo day!

End of Cycle 2 1/10/14

We are officially done with two months of chemo treatments or two cycles are now completed with four more left to go. Like I have previously said, each cycle consists of two chemo treatments and they can come with requisite doctor appointments for additional tests. Patti now has four treatments done with, with a further eight left before she is done.

Besides chemo, Patti saw fit to give me the gift of Bronchitis, I am not really used to such generosity and was reluctant to thank her for it. Hopefully one day I can return the favor, obviously, when she's cured of cancer of course.

This is exactly what the U of M tunnels look like..
except their tunnels have less sadness and more
modern engineering.

Below the various clinics and hospitals there's a tunnel system. We take it from the parking garage on Delaware street to the Masonic Cancer Clinic every time we go to her treatments. Within these interconnecting hallways there are classrooms, amphitheaters, Diehl Hall which is a large library, and an underground cafe of sorts. The last few times we have had breakfast there and while it's not 5 star; more like what you'd find in a school cafeteria, it is a nice way to relax and people watch before serious things happen.

Before every chemo session Patti has her blood tested. While I can not name everything you can test in your blood, the main thing is, is that everything has it's normal levels and then there are the minimum levels that you can be at. The reason why there are minimums is that the chemo drugs (ABVD), like mentioned in previous posts, break certain elements of you down while they treat cancer. Think of it as military boot camp, ABVD breaks you down while building you back up to a happy, healthy individual or patient. When you go below the minimums it can become unsafe to proceed with treatment.

Neutrophils are a type of white blood cell that roams around in your blood stream. The minimum level is between 1.3-3.6. The test is based on the percentage of Neutrophils present per liter of blood. Patti's level was .3, well below the minimum needed to go forward on the chemo.

Bring on the WAITING!!! We sat in a small, very over heated room, while our RN (Natalie) for the day was checking with Dr. Barachova (our main doctor) to see what the plan was. Dr. Barachova wanted us to proceed because she wanted us on a strict every 14 day program. Natalie wasn't sure that we should, there are protocols where lead nurse can override the main doctor's wishes so she checked with Nurse Deb Herzan who is in charge of the program Patti's in. Deb said we could proceed as well as long as Patti got medicine to bring up her numbers and keep her healthy. In the end, it's all about keeping Patti healthy.

To keep her healthy throughout the next two weeks Patti got three more medications on top of the other three she normally takes:

Neupogen (Filgrastim): Decreases the risk of infection for patients with cancer who are going through chemotherapy among other things.

We got two prefilled needles that I happily got to inject on Saturday and Sunday evening. Patti isn't overly fond of needles so I learned quickly that off color humor right before sticking a sharp pointy thing is not welcome. The injections were to help bring her neutrophil levels up above minimums.

Levaquin (Levofloxacin): Treats infections in patients. Interesting note: It says it's used to treat anthrax and the plague, I hope there isn't something the doctors aren't telling us.

With all the other drugs she is on and some other complications with her numbers they had to described what they called a 'light antibiotic' to help boost Patti's immune system because her numbers were so low to start before this chemo treatment.

Valtrex (Valacyclovir): Treatment of cold sores.

Apparently cold sores are a big deal like any infection and Patti has one.


That was Friday; the rest of the weekend saw her staying in doors. With counts so low Patti wasn't supposed to be around public places and people where she could get sick. Both Saturday and Sunday I injected her with a Neupogen filled needle near her navel which she LOOOVED! After two days cooped up in the house, both Aiden and Patti had a touch of cabin fever.

For those not mathematically initiated
this is what a parabola looks like....

Monday morning they cracked the seal on the door and reentered the world. Aiden went to preschool and Patti and I went to a follow up visit downtown. Natalie was back and so was Deb (we hadn't seen her since before Thanksgiving) and they went over the blood test results which Patti had gotten minutes before. Everything was raised and the all important Neutrophil count went from .3 to 13.1. Needless to say that was well above what she needed to be and proved the shots worked. We were warned that her counts would level out as the week progressed and by next weekend she would feel the effects of the chemo more so than she was then. Basically her counts would do a parabola where they were high then because of the medication, they would dip to normal post-chemo levels and then start sliding back up the closer she got to her next treatment.

From all of this I did a timeline (if her chemo stays on Friday which it should) of all the chemo dates and the last one will be 4 days before her birthday on 4/25. There will be the requisite post check ups and tests much like the weeks leading up to chemo to make sure Patti is in remission and then after that it's 5 years of hoping and praying until they give us the "Cured" label.

Two Cycles down, 4 to go. 8 treatments left and 4 months of fun with hospitals, nurses and doctors. So far Patti has been a real trooper and I think is weathering it well. Out of the 4 treatments we've only had 1 week where she got super low and out of it. I think if we only had 2 weeks out of the next four months of strong side effects, Patti would take it in an instant. For me I can't wait until this is all over with

Thank you all!