Where's the caffeine? (Chemo #2 12/11/13 through Chemo #3 12/27/13)

Note: I changed the font of the Post Titles and Post text to 'Arial' since I had a few comments people weren't able to read the blog on other mediums due to the 'Crafty Girls' font. I want people to read this no matter what, so I will choose function over aesthetics

Warning: Chemo Brain is in full effect, if you are not
careful it might strike you down as well

I'm writing this at 3 am in the morning so I definitely would like an
energy drink of some sort. Let's check the last blog date, umm okay, December 3rd. That would be Patti's 'Fear' post and my last one was the day before. I apologize for the long absence between posts. Starting at the beginning of December and 'ending' last week I started overnights so I wouldn't have to take time off from work for when Patti would be suffering from the side effects of chemo. I worked 5 days on and 2 days off and many of the days and especially those 2 days off I was doing things and sleep was sometimes minimal (I went 56 hours without sleeping for one stretch). So the blog got pushed aside for awhile and in the meantime we had Chemo #2 and Chemo #3 with side effects and sicknesses in between; it has been fun. I put the 'ending' in quotes for overnights  because I actually do 3 more starting tonight then back to days, and back to figuring out how to get my sleep schedule in order.

Chemo # 2 was a bitterly cold December 11th at 10 am. We went through the same motions as the first one: I got up early and got us snacks from the gas station; we got Aiden to preschool at 7 am and we got down to the Masonic Cancer Center at 8 am (thank God for the tunnel system). We had our longest stay at the waiting room since we were very early and after the blood tests and we were ushered to the chemo room we had an even longer wait. I don't know who Patti paid to get our chemo room, but it was in the corner; it had a good window view and it was sealed with a rolling door, we could control the temperature of the room because it had its own thermostat and Patti even got a bed. Unfortunately, or fortunately because we had such a plush room, we had to wait for a few hours to get started. Apparently a machine for the blood tests broke and they couldn't read it via technology so they had to view the blood tests and count manually. I don't know what that entails but it really does not sound fun and it made the chemo session a lot longer than it should have been.

The rest of the session went as normal and we were out by 1:30-2 pm. We picked Aiden and I went to bed before my overnight shift and Patti and the little guy veged out to cartoons. 

Ooh a new paragraph already and it has to do with side effects!!!! Patti has been very lucky, she hasn't had many side effects. There's like 5 million that she could get and she's only gotten a few: she gets hot and cold very easily and she gets tired. There wasn't much after the first Chemo session, she got somewhat tired and she got mouth sores which could have been unrelated since she hasn't gotten them since. Coming into the second session she was high spirits after the relatively small effect the first one had on her social and work life. This time the fatigue hit her hard after the 3rd day. 

Picture a person who has way too many activities during the day outside of work. There is always something going on and she's got to do it. She has a perky, energetic attitude and doesn't like to sit still. Now make that person lie in bed, a chair and/or a couch for 4-5 days and not much else.

Would you go crazy? Would you be in a bad mood? 

Welcome to Patti's life. It's actually the first time I've seen Patti be in a bad mood for a protracted amount of time. I wouldn't say depressed; sad or frustrated maybe, but not depressed. I did receive a number of comments about how far I could take my sense of humor or could annoy her which made me back off sometimes stung. Aiden also noticed the change in Mommy but man that boy loves his cartoons and hanging out with mommy. Those 4-5 days were tough on her and even after the energy came back, if she worked a bit too hard or fast, she'd drain pretty quickly so she has to be careful. 

I still get her hair in my mouth from
the pillows on the bed, thanks Patti

At this time Patti came to the realization that her hair was not going to hold out any longer and it was falling out faster than a dog sheds in the spring. So instead of waiting for it to fall out in clumps and in dribs and drabs (I love that saying) she decided to just shave it all off. What's kind of interesting is that she still has some patches of dark hair and patches of white-blonde hair. The dark hair is hair that hasn't fallen out yet and it hurts if you rub it the wrong way. The light hair is the hair that has grown back (you never have a fully smooth head, hair is still growing back throughout chemo) and it doesn't hurt at all. It's kinda weird, but kinda cool and her husband loves experimenting with rubbing the different colored parts of her head, he's weird like that. And while we are on the topic of being bald, here's a Top 10 Reasons Why Chemo Induced Baldness is Awesome.

Before we knew it Christmas was upon us and the weekend right before we had our family celebrations. Saturday was with her family, and I just want to stop here and apologize to her family for not cutting off my grungy beard for their party, my bad.  It was a breakfast Christmas celebration that they usually do on Christmas Day but since her parents were going to California on the 25th, we had it early. It was a great day with family, and for me, after being stressed out from work, it was a great reliever even though I was very tired and kind of kept to myself. 

I got a few hours of sleep before work that day but I believe Aiden and Patti just veged out as well. The next day was Christmas with my family and since it was in the afternoon I got some sleep in the morning. December 26th my Grandma Lois Payne turned 100 and before our Christmas Party my sister Wendy and her family threw a birthday party for her. Unfortunately I pretty much missed it catching up on sleep. It was a fun night at my sister's house seeing the Smiths and the Aronsens, but too soon I had to leave to go to work for my 'last' overnight shift. 

Christmas Eve through the day after Christmas Day saw me back at work during the day (it was definitely a change).  Chemo #3 and the start of Cycle #2 was on Friday. Patti's brother Jerome picked her up and took her to the hospital (THANK YOU!) while I watched Aiden for the morning. His preschool was out for Christmas and spending hours on end at the hospital wouldn't be the best place for him. Patti will be making her own blog about that experience since I was not there. Aiden and I picked her up and we went to Pizza Lucé for a post chemo lunch. Silly Patti brought left overs home and they didn't survive to see Sunday.

Now onto sicknesses!!!!

So Patti has decided to get sick this last month. The first one was around December 8th/9th which was a 24 hour bug that left her low and mostly in the bathroom. Thankfully she gratefully passed that bug onto me causing me to miss my son's December 11th Christmas show. Thanks Patti! More severe came right before Christmas. Patti wanted to really outdo the 24 hour bug by getting Bronchitis. The only good part about that was that she had no voice from it which made the house peaceful (she didn't like my silent jokes either).

Right now she is starting to get tired again, the fatigue seems to be coming on a little bit slower than than last time but it is still starting to build.

To end this I just wanted to thank Patti's coworkers and her bosses for being so understanding and so supportive of her. She works for Be the Match which is somewhat ironic when you come to think about it, but I am so glad she got into this company and that they have seen it in their hearts and in their business sense (haha) to keep her on. Thank you guys so much!

Happy New Years Eve everyone and...ha ha...see you next year!

P.S: Patti should be writing a blog about Chemo #3 soon!

Fear

Hi everyone, yep it's me Patti this time. I first want to start out by saying how much I LOVE you all & how I feel your support & prayers everyday. I have been meaning to post on here but when I would want to do it Chris would be using the computer ... so I blame him for this taking so long to get posted :)

But what is on my mind tonight & why I am posting this at 4am in the morning ... yes I know I know I should be sleeping but my body hates me right now & will only let me sleep so much. So after the first Chemo last week everything was going great & I thought to my self "wow this is going to be easy" but now a week later my body hurts I don't have my "normal" zest for life that I am so used to having. I tried going to work yesterday but after 2 hours I was done  left around 1:30 only to go home & sleep. I am going to try work again today but who knows if I will make a full day or only a part day again. I feel like only doing a half day I let Cancer win .. but if I push myself to far I am also letting Cancer win, so I guess it's a no win for me.

So why did I title this post Fear? well its because I am very fearful of what could happen. Fearful for Aiden, Fearful for Chris, Fearful for my Parents, Fearful of my family & Friends. What if HL takes me out? I am a very strong person who is (sometimes) great at hiding how I am feeling (those who watch closely will know my laugh changes under stress & as Chris puts it I have a "fake smile" that shows when things are hard) but I fear the person I will become when I can't be my normal peepie self, with the real Patti ever come back? I just want to be able to enjoy life how I once did. Sing my lungs out at church with hands lifted High.

I know live gets hard sometimes but why is it once something great happens in my life it's always followed by something not so great.

Ok I am going to try to get some more sleep before starting another day.

I leave you in Gods Peace & LOVE

Let me just take a nap

It's Cyber Monday and we're just a week away from our next chemo treatment. After this second one, we'll be 1 whole Cycle done with chemo and have 5 more to go. Thanksgiving has come and gone and one major bump in the road was our lovely cancer patient FORGETTING HER MEDS at home after she had left for her parent's house on Turkey Day. Way to stress a husband out at work honey!!!!!

Nothing much to report so this will be a relatively short post. For the most part, with only one session down Patti's side effects have been very small. They are cumulative so we know it probably won't last but besides some small mouth sores her only real side effect so far has been fatigue. Don't worry, she's still her perky and cheery self, but at times, just like Aiden, our little cancer superstar needs nap time. She has yet to take up a blankie and stuffed animal like our son, but she does get tired more easily.

I think, as an outsider looking at her, you can tell it in her eyes first. It's almost a stressed out look when it is actually a look of her energy being drained more quickly. From there her body slows down and you can certainly tell she's ready to sit down and vege for awhile. The hardest part through all of this is for someone who is active and energetic is to recognize when she does need to stop and take a breather. She's done a great job recognizing this but it is still hard. During Thanksgiving there were several times where the kids were being kids and Patti had to be told (namely by her husband) that it wasn't her job to watch them this year. The night ended up with Patti taking a nap away from the  festivities with Aiden playing quietly near her in the room.

Adults: Time for a group photo
Kids: NO!

She loves her family and any other year she'd be in the thick of it, wrangling children, chatting up relatives and eating her fair share of the turkey. This year, though, found her needing to escape the lively atmosphere and wanting quiet. Thankfully after a few hours of sleep, she was good as new, while her husband was starting to doze on the couch.

Yesterday found her going to the Mall of America for Aiden's photo shoot with Santa. If not for her Mother, she probably wouldn't have been able to do it (I was sleeping due to working over nights). I woke up to both Aiden and Patti sleeping in the living room chair. Unfortunately that has led to both of them sleeping right now, because Aiden woke up early in the morning.

I, personally, would love if the side effects stayed this way. The fatigue is short lived, and the mouth sores a minor nuisance. If the next 5-6 months are like this, Patti will get along just fine. Now to go downstairs and see if Patti is going to work today, I should know, but I easily do forget things mundane as work haha.

Aiden: Could I have another season of 'Paw Patrol' so my parents don't go insane?